Sunday, April 28, 2013

Sunday Social



-Did you ever sleepwalk as a child?
I do believe I did. I remember my mom telling me a story about how I tried to climb the wall.

-Did you ever run away or sneak out of the house?
I never snuck out. I never had too. I was always trusted & home before curfew. & I did try to run away once when my mom was married. I ran to my pompos.

-Did you have an imaginary friend?
No. Not that I recall.

-Did you ever go tissue papering?
Not a house! We did tp a gate that lead to a teachers house we couldn't get to the house cause the gate was locked so we tpd the gate.

-Did you ever sneak TV shows you weren't allowed to watch?
I think I was pretty much allowed to watch whatever but I didn't start watching tv till I was a little older. I use to go and play outside.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

She Who Waits Also Serves

It was around 1:30 when i recieved a phone call i'd hoped we'd dodged. It was my husband, he is deploying. I could never put the emotions I felt in that moment into words. I still dont know how I feel, I know it makes me sick. I dont know how to function without him. & what about ava, she is only 3 months old and when he comes home she will be close to 1 year. I knew there was always a possibility but I guess I just thought it was 1 in a million. You would think as Army Wives we would be prepared for this moment, but we arent. We are never really ready to wave our love goodbye. So often we take the simple things for granted. The times we make them dinner, hug them, hold their hand, a simple kiss. Its true that HOME is where our husbands are. I know my heart will stop the day he leaves but i have to make the most of these three weeks because if worse comes to worse i have to prepare for the fact that he may not come home. I feel like my heart is being ripped open. How are my daughter and I gonna say goodbye? My husband is our strenght, hes what keeps us going. I keep hoping thinking this is a dream. I just feel so empty. I know I have to pray & id be honored if you all pray for us. 



Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Do you remember?

Do you remember where you were when the towers fell from the sky? I do. I was headed to school. We sat in my math teachers class and watched the news on her computer. I was in 6th grade. I remember thinking it wasnt as big of a deal as everyone was making it, little did i know the effect it had on our country and the tragity it would bring so many families. A few years later i visited new york and what was now known as "ground zero" and as i stood outseide the gated area I cried. I guess i didnt really relize the tragity till it was right there in my face. I couldnt understand why another country would do this, because they dont like the way we live? Because it is against their religion? I now grasp the situation completly and here we are yet again. Yesterday when my husband came home and asked what had happen in Boston I told him i had heard there was a bombing at the time i still hadnt linked that the boston marathon was also going on yesterday. Another terrist attack has threatened our country, just when we were restoring hope from the last terrist attack. & I cant help but wonder if it will alter my life this time? Will my husband deploy? What will happen in the months to come? What about the lives takena and people injered? Then i look at my precious daughter born just this year. & in her short 3 months of life we Obama was re-elected, the Catholic religion elected a new pope & Boston was invated by a terroist and bombed. What is our world coming to? It sadddens and sickens me to see the hate that is fueling so many people. How did we get here? When did we get here? WHen will it end? What can we do to help? THose are the my questions. I will be praying for the families effected by the boston bombing and the community itself. My only hope is that you are all doing the same





Sunday, April 14, 2013

One more month!

I just realized that in one month my sister will be living here in El Paso with my husband, Ava & myself!



I am so happy that I will finally have someone here to talk with and hang out. We bought a bed today so we could put our old one in the guest bedroom an it just felt so good to know that my sister will finally just be a room away! I've never really been friendless, everywhere I go I usually adapt well and meet people but El Paso has been pretty tricky! & ive been so sad.



I'm very excited though because today I was invited by someone in te church we visited to go to a group called moms;) I just feel so wonderful today and it all started with the fact that my husband loved the church we went to! I am so unbelievably happy and I know I will adjust & adapt to El Pasoz plus once my sister is here I know we will be having late movie nights and tanning days.



 What a great weekend. Praise be to god.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Will someone take the knife out of my back?


I woke up to a text message from a close friend of mine this morning saying "so I guess chels & Rick are together". I'm not sure what a person should say to that? For those of you who don't know Chels is my "best friend" of 9 years & Rick is my ex. (Of 2 years) I've known or awhile they had been seeing each other and cut Chelsea out of my life soon after. I guess I just don't know where to go from here.


 Yes, I am married and I do have a beautiful child but does that make this ok? The entire time I was with Rick, Chelsea wanted us to break up! I just feel so betrayed, who are these people I allow into my life? Is it wrong of me to want to slap this girl? I just don't understand some people. I know I have to remember I can only control my own actions but I just don't understand how people continue to hurt people they love knowingly! What has the world come to? Again, are there any honest people in the world? I'm just so disgusted by the actions of this girl. So manipulative! 



I know I need to let go of the betrayal but I need god. So here is my prayer " amazing love, guide me though this journey and cleans my heart of things that would hurt you. Teach me to act instead of react and continue to give me your undying love & affection. Amen." It's going to take time but I'm glad I found out who this girl was before she baptized my daughter. Good night, & may we all see tomorrow.





Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A rainy day blog

Today as I was sitting at home I was thinking about something that has been really heavy on my heart. Lately I have been filled with so much anger. It seems I've been betrayed by everyone I thought loved me this past month. I just don't know how to forgive some people.



 I've always been filled with so much love. I've been told I love to much, but I guess I love like god. It's hard for me not to love people immediately. I put my heart out there all the time because I assume most people are as honest as I am and I've come to realize that I am sadly mistaken. I just don't know where to go from here. Do I contine to love others the way I do or do I just let that part of my heart go cold. Are their any pure hearted people in the world anymore? Am I the only one? & am I nieve for believe that there is good in everyone? My husband sure thinks so. He says I don't cut ties soon enough & by not doing that I get hurt. I just don't know how to rid myself of my forgiving heart. I want to believe that there are other people in the world who naturally love everyone they meet because that's what god would want of us. Love isn't just an intimate thing and I wonder if that's what confuses most. Just a few thoughts for a rainy afternoon. Until next time...XOXO

Monday, April 8, 2013

FIrst day on the blog...

THis is my first day on the blog. Im still trying to learn how to use this and get all the liks set up so bear with me. I hope all you beautys have a great night. XOXO